Enneagram as Mirror to the Soul: Type Six

20 Comments on “Enneagram as Mirror to the Soul: Type Six”

1. Part of the practice for the past week was to look at a feature of my enneatype that is an obstacle and a feature of my enneatype that is a blessing. Actually, there is a close connection between the two. On the one hand I am preoccupied with what people think of me, how I am being perceived, whether I am making the right impression. I get caught up in trying to say the right thing. This gets in the way of honesty and even courage for me. On the other hand, this tendency has led me to pay attention people and to be attentive to their stories, their lives. The first situation leads to anxiety and self doubt and to less than honest communication. I’d like to say I have learned not to do it but it is still a go to response for me. I have, however, gotten better at recognizing when I am doing it and sometimes modifying it. The second situation leads to some moments of real connection and relationship and I am trying to nurture to that. I have noticed that the first situation comes from a place of thinking and analysis and the second situation comes from a place of emotion and from just letting things unfold. It is all part of the whole. For me that is where the holy idea of faith comes in for me. Trying to trust myself not to understand and predict everything and allowing things to unfold.

   • That was well said John. Thank you for sharing.! Reflecting on today’s daily question on freedom….I really enjoyed creating a list of what comes to mind when you hear the word freedom. For me freedom meant bring carefree, without worry, no judgements, peaceful, happy, and so alive. I could see how those adjectives could be descriptive of my Soul Child. It was a delightful discovery!

     • Thank you, both, for such terrific insights!

   • Hi John, as a six I can really relate to the obstacles you noted as some of the barriers that seemed imbedded in being a six. I share those fears and used to, in fact, obsess over them.
     I worried over what would be right or proper as defined by others and beat myself up when I felt I’d fallen short or missed an opportunity to get it right.
     I squished my heart but between my gut and the need to survive I managed. I always thought it was my mind that saved me because I was able to create alternative solutions and alternative plans saved me. As did my mind because I was able to create visions and plans for alternative scenarios and sometimes outdo my own projections. It always seems, just as I would reach the end of myself, a solution would in come.
     I’ve just recently learned that it is actually my soul child who has been saving me.
     You also mentioned listening to others and I wanted to share one of the things I find very exciting about the Enneagram is that it helps me to hear others in a different tone than I did before.

2. Thanks for your comments Lori. I am struggling with the question about freedom. For me it feels like freedom is more about internal state than external circumstances but that relates that I was born into a circumstance free of personal slavery, repression, and so forth. So my biggest obstacle to freedom is me. To me I guess it would be freedom to act in the most honest and compassionate manner possible even if that means there are consequences to me. Some people who can do that seem to be free even when imprisoned. I am not there yet.

3. How do you best collect with your body? It is not a question I have ever considered but clearly I best connect to my body through music. Listening or playing. Playing music with others, though, is the best. Once when I played (with friends) for a hospice party, one of our chaplains connected to me that he had never seen me look more natural. I think that when I play music with others my heart, head, and body are all completely engaged. In addition there is a communication between musicians playing that defies explanation but is just there. Listening is good too. I don’t really dance but listening to music engages in other ways. Thank you for helping me be aware of this.

   • I agree! I’m a seven, so singing with others forces me to lose myself to blend with the group. When everyone sings together it can be an almost out of body experience – we are all waves of music. It can be incredible.

4. Watching the Pope’s blessing from the Vatican yesterday I heard a message that was powerful and timely for me. From Mark Chapter 4. “Why are you afraid? Do you not yet have faith?” This hits me close to home and, as it turns out, my fears about all that is going on were ramped up pretty well yesterday.

   • This was Friday’s Circle of Partner Message that had a similar message:
     “Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.”
     ― Frederick Buechner

     It is a powerful reminder for me.

     • John, as a fellow fear-based enneatype, how are you releasing fear?

       • I am struggling somewhat. Yesterday was a really rough day for some reason. Watching the Pope’s service and blessing helped. I have been playing some music every day and working on a jigsaw puzzle of a lake and mountains. There are also certain pieces of music I go to sometimes.Those help. I have also reflected on the fact that our safe and untroubled lives are a gift that very few people in the world’s history have ever enjoyed. Somehow those people lived and laughed and loved. Somehow that is comforting. Meditating with my eyes open helps too. Part of it is recognizing that sometimes the hypervigilant, fearful me shows up and I need to just pay attention to it instead try to make it go away. Unfortunately, it likes to show up at 4 AM. How do you deal with it.

         • I hope I am leaning into my five soul child rather than living only in my head space – but I’m finding I need to stay current in the numbers and research around the virus. It doesn’t make me scared. Instead it makes me feel like I know the lay-of-the-land. I also know I have to bring in my heart and gut space so I try to make music every day (my husband and I have a little two-person band) and get out in nature. I love to see the concerts coming from talented musicians’ living rooms. Your point about history being filled with plague, quarantines, and restrictions is very relevant to me as well, I point out to my kids (and myself too) that we aren’t unusual or special in this experience. It connects us to Anne Frank (and all those in hiding during WW II), those dealing with the Spanish Flu, even their grandmother who was a child in England during the WWII blackouts. There is a common thread throughout history, We’ve can manage.

     • Thanks for sharing that.

5. Although it is difficult for me I am starting to “get” this practice of coming around from the head space to the gut space where doing something quiets the noise of my head and provides some direction for the moment. The fear quiets down. In the heart space it is clear that relationship is key. That it really comes down to love.. In those moments I can separate myself from the focus on how I am doing – am I saying the right thing? am I responding in the right way? and when I can travel in that stream things do simplify for a while. I can express myself more honestly.

6. When I first read Maitri’s soul child description back during the apprenticeship, I latched right on to the first part about the “lazy little one…who doesn’t want to go out and face to face the world.” I missed the rest of the message. Two things I remember hearing a lot when I was a kid were that I was very smart and that I was very lazy and I have come to realize that I tried very hard to distance myself from both of those descriptions. I would make myself very busy to shield myself from the lazy label, often to my detriment. Then I react to that by becoming withdrawn and distant. Even now, when I am working less, I get caught up in whether I am using my time well and it is a real struggle for me to relax into the situation and just respond. I am still struggling with the positive aspect of the soul child but I am seeing it in bits. The practice of moving around the circle has been very helpful in helping me see that what I want is engagement and community and that when I relax into things, engagement and community are right there. I have sometimes been able to catch myself when I am shutting down and try something different.

7. I used to call it serendipity. Now I call it the “How”. Just like serendipity I know the How will find me. I apply my loyalty of the six to ease my fears and support that knowledge. Right now with this terrible virus we are all in a world of the unknown. I’ve been in these unknown worlds before, usually alone, sometimes with another one or two. There will be an answer. It will take creativity, patience, commitment, appreciation, and gratitude. I am thankful that I am truly a six and have been gifted the attributes that have given me a successful journey through the complex twists and turns that have formed the map of my life. I’m confident that my six soul will carry me through the challenges going forward.

   • Wonderful comment! Thank you for sharing this!

   • Dorothy, I appreciate your comments on the serendipity and the now.. It is an important reminder to me about not getting too far ahead of myself. I tend to try and see down all the roads which gets overwhelming. I am actually more relaxed when the trouble gets here than when I try to anticipate it. The reminder to stay right where I am and trust in the unfolding is helpful and has a very nine-ish feel to it. Peace and health.

     • Sorry Dorothy the “how” not the “now”.

     • Hi John, thank you for your message.
       We are sixes. ?.
       And, that’s a good thing.
       My daughter is also a six and we agree that we always come through when the actual crisis arises. However, we’ve both found our lack of self trust and worry sometimes slows us down, or for me what is worse limits our appreciation and enjoyment of the awesome gifts of being a six. And I think, It impacts my ability to live in and enjoy the moment.
       I think because I’m older or because my life calling has shifted so that it now involves active participation in caregiving; I’ve taught myself how to let go of some of my fears and worries us sixes are often plagued with.
       One technique I’ve found that helps me is feeling thankful for what I do have. For example, right now, in our present state of COVID uncertainty; instead feeling stuck in my home I feel very blessed for the home I have. I don’t focus on how bad the outlook might be. Instead I try to find ways to make the best of the way it is by taking appropriate safety precautions, learning, and sharing.
       I’ve found forgiving and not beating myself up over things also helps a lot. For example, I’m not big into conversations that wail over the way and how bad things are. While I understand some of my friends my need that venting right now; apart from being interested in the news I need all of my resources to meet the challenges I need to meet right now. Mind you, if I can suggest or offer something that may improve their situation or vision even a small bit, I’m pleased to do so. However, I no longer make repeated attempts to help them.
       As far as believing in and finding the ‘how’. I guess I try to solve problems before they arise and, if It doesn’t look like I can do that I work on how I might deflect or minimize their impact.
       I think this is the way I truly celebrate the gifts given to us as sixes. When I told the person I care for that I realize it must be hard for her to live here and I understand how she might feel like she’s been admitted to a senior’s home. She told that it’s not a bad place to be since I’m a doomsday prep-per.