Enneagram as Mirror to the Soul: Type Seven

A place for those with the type seven enneastyle to discuss personal growth.

Rumi Poem | Type 7

I looked inwards

And the beauty of my own emptiness

Filled me until dawn

~ Rumi

Why is this an important poem for type Sevens to use for reflection? Sevens search for continual external stimulation to fill the emptiness they feel inside. Their emotional passion of Gluttony is one way they do this, but Gluttony only satisfies for the moment and then the sense of being full is gone. It is the inward journey that truly satisfies.

By Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD. Visit: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com | ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com

10 Comments on “Enneagram as Mirror to the Soul: Type Seven

  1. I think my parents would have loved me to be a five. My dad is a five and my mom is a very delicate nine. I wonder if I rejected my five qualities because I wanted to be noticed. It’s interesting to look at the possibility of rejecting my own needs to be “loud” enough to be heard in a very quiet home. Do any sevens have insights about this idea?

    • It is very interesting Gwen. I am a one and I remember wanting to play and be noisy as a child but my parent were always telling me to be quite and as I was the eldest of three children I was told to keep the other children quite also. So I took on this responsibility and became serious etc and left my seven Soul Child behind. Its good to see this now.

      Thank you for this insight.

  2. I clearly remember the moment I decided to reinvent myself. It felt like a conscious choice. I was probably eight or so. I just decided I would be more outgoing. I was somewhat successful in this venture- holding many school offices and being voted the “most friendly” by my high school class.
    While never the “life of the party”, I am definitely a seven. This need to be acknowledged and noticed likely emerged very early. When I was three months old my four-year-old brother died during a routine surgery. In her grief, my mother could no longer nurse me. I must have felt neglected. I intimately know the process. Many years later I lost my first husband in the Vietnam War. He was listed at MIA for four years before being declared dead. The news was brought to me as I was in the hospital having just given birth to our son. I know first hand how sudden grief can stifle feelings. I loved my son desperately, yet I felt the need to cut off emotion for fear of “bleeding too much- It was survival- I couldn’t allow myself to feel anything too much. ( seven’s reaction to pain?) Years later in a conversation with my mother, I mentioned that she probably felt she’d traded me for my brother, Shocked, she asked me how I knew. I knew because I’d been there.
    I would like to ask other sevens if they strongly feel that five pull. For many years I felt that duality. My daughters maintains I’m a “closet introvert”. I have no problem mixing in groups, love talking to random people, speaking my mind in gatherings, facilitating meetings, yet need to recoup by myself. While outgoing, I definitely need my alone time. I certainly have most of the seven attributes (especially the negative ones!). At times, other than both head types, fives and sevens seem polar opposites. Does anyone else struggle with this?

    • Hi Tami,
      I’ve been working with the strange dichotomy of both desperately needing connection but also completely withdrawing from people if they don’t seem “safe” AKA might hurt me. I’ve wondered what’s going on with that. I’m realizing that’s my five soul child coming through. I need to see feeling of five “withdrawal” as part of my journey. If I work with it I can get to the good parts of my five-ness as well. It’s the way I hold both seven and five energy (even though they seem very different).

  3. HI. I would love to talk to other 7’s out there. I did not write last month as I had had a very “hard” time in Jan and Feb with lots of social isolation. I am walking through grief issues (many people died in my life last year….closest being my Mom in July). In Jan/Feb I found myself lonely, isolated, feeling unloved (though i KNOW I am beloved).
    I did not WANT to be busier to just make myself feel better. I was very happy being quiet and reclusive. It is often hard for people to believe that I can be very quiet and love reading etc.
    I started to judge myself that I was feeling my feels because i was reclusing. After the month one webinar on Enneagram I started to look at my number 5 inner child. I did NOT like her at all and blamed her for what I was feeling Jan/Feb.
    I realized that as a child I was VERY shy and quiet. Never went to daycare, never did sleep overs except with very close cousins, never went to a camp where I would need to sleep there or be away from family.
    Can anyone else relate?
    I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE books. Loved being quiet as a child. Piano player. Anyways, will quit rambling and see if anything comes out of this.

    Oh…and on the other side….ZING!!!…the number 1 we also go to……I found myself using very dry sarcastic sense of humour to respond to a shaming comment at work yesterday. Sigh….teach me privately when we are nursing in this much stress.

    confessions day. Peace and love to all….and a bucket load of JOY should be found in there somewhere. Back to my self-isolation (except when wearing a mask at work because i am healthy).

    • Wonderful insight! I’ve been struggling to understand how I was denied my five-ness. My parents were both very quiet people and I’m sure they would have liked it if I was calmer and less exuberant. My mom had health problems and often needed quiet-time. My sister was extremely quiet. I realized that I felt I wouldn’t be noticed if I was as quiet as my sister or my parents. I needed to make a little noise if I was going to get my needs met. I think I’m responsible for “freezing” my soul child!

  4. A little surprisingly, this forced stay-at-home dictate has been quite pleasant. It is with a sense of relief all the activities on my calendar have been canceled. I garden and walk my dogs a couple of miles a day- think my five-child is loving it!

    I remember the first time I gave myself permission not to speak up at a meeting, not to offer my two cents. I actually told myself that I could just sit back, listen and relax. I had to sit on my hands. What a relief! Perhaps it’s age, wisdom, what-ever, but my soul child has been making herself heard more and more as I advance in years. I finally sense we are integrating or at least acknowledging and appreciating each other.

    • I’m also interested that my five soul child seems at peace with the quarantine. Work is still very busy, so it’s not like that aspect of my life has quieted down. The social aspects of my family’s schedule is, obviously, down to nothing. And that feels okay. Maybe I’m getting a chance to experience “enough-ness” – since my family is enough, my health is enough, my home is enough. It is perfect. I still get a little voice telling me I should be filling my time with a thousand different projects, but I’m pretty much ignoring them at the moment. Good lessons from difficult times.

      I love your comment about having to choose to not speak up in a meeting. I have to work at that and tell myself to hold back as well. I often have to silently say “my story (or idea, or opinion) is not essential in this conversation” and let it go. Boy, that’s hard!

      • I so get holding back in a meeting or occasionally even in a conversation- is what I’m going to say essential? I’m truly working on trying to listen more than I speak (and I do mentally pat myself on the back when I’m successful!) Certainly a work in progress.

        I also want to acknowledge Jean (see above) for her work as a nurse. Please know how much your actions are appreciated. I have a son who is an emergency room doctor, and I am so very concerned about his well being. I’ve reached the time in my life where I fall into that group of vulnerable citizens who depend on the likes of you. Thank you so very much.

  5. I so get holding back in a meeting or occasionally even in a conversation- is what I’m going to say essential? I’m truly working on trying to listen more than I speak (and I do mentally pat myself on the back when I’m successful!) Certainly a work in progress.

    I also want to acknowledge Jean (see above) for her work as a nurse. Please know how much your actions are appreciated. I have a son who is an emergency room doctor, and I am so very concerned about his well being. I’ve reached the time in my life where I fall into that group of vulnerable citizens who depend on the likes of you. Thank you so very much.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

.