A place for those with the type one enneastyle to discuss personal growth.
Rumi Poem | Type 1
If you are irritated by every rub
How will you be polished?
~ Rumi
Why is this an important poem for type Ones to use for reflection? Ones search for serenity and acceptance, yet their ego structure has them think that it is their job to notice mistakes, big and small, and to correct them. This is an endless task and takes them far from the tranquility for which they yearn.
By Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD. Visit: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com | ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com
My husband, a one, had a pretty wild period as a teen-and-twenty-something. I wonder if he was attempting to reach his seven Soul Child the only way he knew how. Have any ones had a similar experience? Thoughts?
I am a one, I have always worked very hard and at times take life so seriously. In my fifties I took early retirement and went travelling with my husband, we went back packing around Thailand, Vietnam and then on to Australia, where we stayed for over a year. While there we went dancing every Wednesday night. It was an Italian Club and they offered dancing classes. Walz, Cha-Cha, Jive, Tango and many more. After the teaching session all the experienced dancers would dance with the novices. This went on for about two hours. I loved this experience, as I was able to follow an experience dancer very well. It just seemed to work effortlessly. While dancing I felt free in a way I never felt before. It gave me such energy and confidence. Now looking back I think this was me trying to reach my seven Soul Child.
Sadly we have not gone dancing since we returned home to Ireland. It is something I will have to look into and commence again.
Thank you Gwen for your post it got me thinking.
As a one, I am still trying to work out what Richard said during lecture last week about going with the flow of the river which for me is to go to the seven soul child and have fun. Its like going on holiday. To go against the flow and do the hard work and discover more about my shadow self does that mean getting in touch with the E 4 part of me?
As a seven I would have to say that being a seven isn’t really about having fun. In fact, I find a better description is a need to be connected at best/ distracted at worst. Learning to be able to sit with pain and not try to escape into the future or be overwhelmed by life not being perfect are all key elements of being a seven. Your soul child direction would be seven.
Soul Child traits are somewhat different from straight enneatype traits. The type manifests and expresses somewhat differently as the Soul Child, just as it does when it is your point of evolution. It’s not the same as what you must deal with when it is your dominant enneatype.
I love this. Can you expand your thoughts for the rest of us? I think it’s very helpful to hear about this aspect of Soul Child work.
I base this on Beatrice Chestnut’s work and Sandra Maitri’s. Their descriptions of the Soul Child seem to revolve around a salient feature of the type. With the type 1, her type 7 soul child seems to be her playful aspect that got repressed and denied out of the need to “be good,” which meant being “corrrct” in behavior and “right” in thought and action, as the very controlled E1 aims for. The E7 soul child seems to embody the E1s lost sense of fun and freedom in life. Her joie de vivre.
Hmmmm….Marie, my Enneagram books are not beaide me as I read posts. Is E4 where E1 goes through to develop? What used to be called its path of dissolution? And what does that look like for the E1? I’m curious, because I have a lot of E1 traits but have always tested out (over 3 years and multiple tests) as equal in E4 & E9.. I relate powerfully to them.both. But for various reasons I am not sure where I fall as a primary enneatype. This E4 component to E1 might be illuminating. Thanks if you have any insight.
Thank you Gwen, that insight is very helpful. I am struggling to understand and this insight has put a complete new way of me looking at myself. I will have to sit with it. Thank you again.
I am grateful for your help and would welcome more support with understanding Enna type 7 to understand myself
Great! I would love to help any way I can.
Stephanie, over the last number of days it is becoming clearer to me that I need to go to ennatype 4 in some way to help me with my feelings. As a ONE I am very unclear of my feelings and how I feel most of the time. When I go to ennatype 7 my soul child direction its comfortable as Richard said going with the flow of the river. What Gwen said about Connection at best/ distraction at worst has made me realise that I disconnect from myself most of the time when I agree to do things I really don’t want to do, or feel obliged to do, or responsible to fix. I agree to do things that others want me to do to avoid the pain of letting them down by not doing what they want or what I think they want. When I say no or do what is best for me I connect with myself and this has been happening more and more over the last few months. I am making more space for myself.
Looking at the Ennagram styles and characteristics I realise I use a lot of the type 7 characteristics for example I avoid pain, I use best case thinking and I use rationalization to justify my thinking etc. All of these characteristic keep me in my head where I am most of the time and stuck in my development.
I need to go to ennatype 4 to get in touch with my heart/body and stay with my feelings to develop more understanding of myself and my shadow.
There is still a lot of unknowing at the moment. Does any of this make any sense to you?
Hi Marie,
When you say ” I disconnect from myself most of the time when I agree to do things I really don’t want to do, or feel obliged to do, or responsible to fix. I agree to do things that others want me to do to avoid the pain of letting them down by not doing what they want or what I think they want. When I say no or do what is best for me I connect with myself and this has been happening more and more over the last few months.” what I hear is an E9 or an E9-wing to your E1 rather than a soul child. I could be wrong, but what you describe here is classic to E9. Have your considered this?
For myself, I am still sitting with observing myself clearly and allowing, with spacious acceptance, whatever I find I am thinking and feeling. I ask myself several times a day “What am I thinking right now? What am I feeling? What lies beneath or behind this?” For me, I relate more to E1 as a potential wing for me, rather than as a core type. My deep core orientation, my first go-to/immediate thinking and reacting is almost always much more like an E9 or a counter E4. I’m not hurrying to settle anywhere. I’m mostly interested in being open and interested in who/how I ACTUALLY think and feel rather than how I have believed I think and feel….and doing so with loving acceptance for all I find. This inquiry I am finding deeply freeing.
Hello Stephanie,
Thank you for your very helpful comments and insights about E9 wing rather than my soul child, this makes sense. I think I need to take a step back from trying to position myself anywhere and as you suggest just observe myself and go from there. Again thank you for your suggestions.